You know you are Portuguese if...

I collected some from several lists - only those that I think make sense.

1. You have a mother or grandmother w/ Maria in her name.

2. You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you never go to church except for weddings and funerals.

3. You say you are not a racist but draw the line when it comes to gypsies.

4. You think all university graduates should be called “Doutor” and like to be called so if you are one of the chosen few who have managed to finish college.

5. You park on the sidewalk when necessary, even asking the person standing there to please move away.

6. You have a mobile phone and spend a small fortune on it, but think twice about going to the dentist.

7. You have a mother or grandmother who wears black.

8. You spend your holidays in Spain instead of in Portugal. After all, it’s cheaper. But you don’t drink their coffee if you can help it, and you certainly would never try their wine.

9. If you are a woman you have been to see a “curandeiro” (healer) or have had your fortune told.

10. You wouldn’t be caught dead buying Spanish olive oil even though most of the olive oil consumed in Portugal comes from Spain.

11. You laugh at jokes about the Alentejanos but get angry to know that the same jokes are told in Brazil about you.

12. You love the sound of a firecracker exploding outside your window. If it is a rocket on Sunday morning, it is even more exciting.

13. You think that you catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring sun. Cold drinks can also bring on the dreadful “gripe”. And don't let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could happen to them.

14. You get a letter from your doctor saying you can’t work because of an “unspecified, ongoing medical condition” and you go on a two-week holiday.

15. Your child’s teacher misses two weeks (because of a letter from his or her doctor) and you don’t complain because you also will use the same doctor when you have to miss two weeks from your work.

16. If you are from Porto you don’t like Lisbon, and vice versa.

17. You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book written in Brazilian Portuguese.

18. The day after you got married, your wife's immediate family moved into your house, permanently...

19. There are more than three pictures of The Last Supper hanging in your kitchen...

20. Your bikini line begins at your neck and ends at your knees...

21. Your mom has finally worn out the pair of sandals she's been wearing since 1981, but has 68 brand new pairs just like them in her closet...

22. You have more than 10 fruit magnets on the front of your fridge...

23. You have more than half dozen plastic saints on your dashboard, a rosary hanging from the rear view mirror and four stuffed doggies with bobbing heads on the rear deck...

24. You decorate your walls with plates.

25. You're 25 and still living with your parents. (Extra points if you're married and living with your spouse in your parents' house)

26. You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at learning foreign languages.

27. To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau au braz, baby!

28. A barbeque does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello! Can you say sardinhas?

29. Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep over, but your 19 year old sister can't go out past 7pm.

30. You think that 2am is too early to go to bed and that 11am is to early to get out of bed.

31. Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin.

32. Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting otherwise they think you don't like the cooking.